Tried and true vs. your evolution
I’m typing this article as I’m watching Super Soul Sunday on the OWN channel. I haven’t watched SSS in quiet some time and I enjoyed watching it when I did.
…so what happened?
There are some basic tried and true experiences in your life that always fill you up. When things get chaotic + hectic, your faves may get lost in the shuffle and eventually you forget about them and you may fill that void up with things that are not as great (and if you are lucky with things that are just as great). You can always tell by how you feel.
As I watch this episode where Oprah Winfrey interviews the founder of Linkedin, Jeff Weiner, I’m reminded that as I evolve and as I take big action on my goals, it’s important to keep the basics (that have worked for me).
What are some foundational experiences you’ve HAD in your life that were awesome that you no longer implement? This may require some thought because what tends to happen is we gradually move on and forget but KNOW something is missing.
I use Super Soul Sunday as my example but I’m sure there are others in my life that I now have to pull from my memory. For example, the other day, I went to a FedEx printing shop and they had adult coloring books for sale. I picked up the book and flipped through the pages and remembered when I used to color with markers and crayons as a child. I enjoyed that and could definitely understand this new adult coloring book trend that has gotten quite popular recently. I’ve heard quite a few adults say that it has helped them ease stress and increase creativity. I put the book down but for a minute there I was seriously considering purchasing one. Maybe next time!
I’ll jot down as many things as I can think of that “filled up my cup” consistently in the past but are no longer a part of my routine. I will assess why they are no longer in my life and take it from there.
It’s great to evolve but when you already found some sparkle along the way, there is no need to bury it, let it help you shine!
What do you think? What are some of your tried and trues that have gotten lost in the shuffle of your evolution? Share in the comments or email me!
Oh, don’t forget to join the tribe at wallflowerbloom.com/enter
Turning self-doubt into lemonade
Usually when self-doubt creeps in, I’ve noticed there is something that needs to be filled, always internally and sometimes externally (or both).
Think about it, when you doubt someone else, what’s usually the reason behind that doubt?
- Maybe you don’t trust them because of what they’ve done in the past.
- Maybe you don’t have enough proof that leads you to believe in what they’re saying to you.
- Maybe their promises seem unrealistic. By unrealistic I’m referring to alignment + action, NOT big dreams (I believe in dreaming big!)
So flip this on yourself and get to the root of your SELF-doubt.
- Do you trust yourself based on your past actions?
- Do you have evidence that what you say you’ll do is not simply an empty promise to yourself?
- Are your goals realistic? What I mean by that is: are your goals broken down into chunks that keep them manageable?
Self doubt is defined as:
“lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities”.
To reverse self doubt, it requires confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.
- Assess why this self-doubt is creeping in or has arrived
- Brainstorm what you half-stepped on because “ain’t no half-steppin” allowed!
- Make a list of what you can do TODAY to fill the gap
- What challenges might get in the way when you start working on those things on your list? What will you do to minimize those challenges?
- Now you have somewhat of a strategy so get to work! PUT ACTION BEHIND THIS PLAN!
When it comes to shyness and anxiety, self doubt can keep you in a state of stagnation.
O
ne where you’re dreaming big but not acting big.
One where you’re crippled by low self-esteem and weakened by the energy around you.
A state where you’re waiting for someone to save you and you don’t realize your own power.
When you feel self-doubt creeping in, turn that sour feeling into lemonade!
Even Beyonce sees the value into turning life’s pains into power!
We all go through it no matter what stage you’re in in your life’s journey so GO FOR YOURS!
Social anxiety and politics
We’re in an election year and this has me thinking about you!
Some people say votes don’t count. Others say votes do count and our ancestors died for our right to vote.
Something about a vote is very powerful – whether politically or outside of the realm of politics.
A vote is synonymous with your voice. It is a statement – in and of itself. And too often, you don’t share your voice and thus the entire idea of voting can possibly create anxiety OR create relief! And that is why I want to hear from you. What is your experience?
Politics is one of those things that when brought up in conversation – can go very wrong and create heightened tension as emotions bubble to the surface. (IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY AND MANY TIMES IT ISN’T THAT WAY. MANY TIMES IT CREATES COMPELLING CONVERSATION)
That very possibility of a heated argument blowing up is THE VERY THING that keeps those with social anxiety and shyness fearful of conversation and social interaction. That fear of the worse case scenario.
I’m a firm believer that hot topics like religion, race, and politics are important but it’s all about how the parties in the conversation approach the topic.
- What is the intention?
- Are they LISTENING?
- Are they speaking from a place of love instead of fear?
What if one person seems to be trying to start an argument and then others follow their lead?
How do you compose yourself so that you’re not negatively impacted to the point where you take the low road or you freeze or you “run away”?
SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW OR EMAIL ME!
I’m interested in learning about your experience around social anxiety and voting and social anxiety and the political discourse.
Has your anxieties every kept you out of the voting booth? Do you go mute in political conversations?
I’m also interested in knowing if you anxieties have done the opposite and propelled you to vote as it was a quiet way of making a loud noise?
Share anything about your experience and what your challenges are.
Whether you choose to vote (I’ll be voting) or not, make sure you vote for yourself by showing up for yourself every day!
Start where you are by using your shyness
So, you’re painfully shy.
Ok.
Going from painfully shy TO feeling pretty good in social settings ISN’T an overnight process.
So, what do you do TODAY?
Here is a list of how to maximize your current situation while you keep your eye on your prize of becoming a person full of moxie!
- FIRST AND FOREMOST: YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE PART OF THE BEAUTIFUL WORLD – MEANING, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, TOO!
- ORGANIZE YOUR DIGITAL STUFF, YOUR HARD COPIES + YOUR PERSONAL SPACE
- I recommend this book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo <<< (If you purchase from my affiliate link I get a small percentage of the sale.)
- SELF-CARE
- When your peeps on your favorite social media sites are posting amazing photos of all the places they’re at and the cool people they’re hanging out with, don’t feel jealous. DO THIS INSTEAD:
- Be happy for them
- Be happy for your future self
- And pamper yourself from head to toe
- Deep condition your hair and maybe indulge in a hot oil treatment
- Take a relaxing bath or soak your feet
- Paint your nails
- Just love on yourself however you want to!
- Don’t waste those precious alone moments on toxic thoughts. INSTEAD: leverage those moments to make you whole!
- When your peeps on your favorite social media sites are posting amazing photos of all the places they’re at and the cool people they’re hanging out with, don’t feel jealous. DO THIS INSTEAD:
- CREATE A MUSIC PLAYLIST
- Play music and pay attention to the songs that really uplift you in ways unimagined and make a playlist with those songs ONLY!
- There are so many music apps you can use or simply create a playlist on YouTube
- WATCH MOVIES THAT FILL YOU
- Take this time to revisit movies that were life changing for you
- Watch movies that are meaningful to you
- LISTEN TO PODCASTS THAT FILL YOU
- Find podcasts you think you’ll enjoy and start listening to them while you clean, or while you style your hair.
- “Fill your cup!”
- READ BOOK THAT FILL YOU
- Brew some tea or your favorite cozy drink and snuggle up or luxuriate with a book in hand (or an audiobook)
- GO FOR A SHORT WALK
Those are a few tips on how to work with what you’ve got RIGHT NOW rather than feeling bad about being painfully shy. USE THIS MOMENT AS A GIFT.
TIP: The very thing you are avoiding is going to peel away shyness!
Conversation can feel icky when you’re painfully shy – but it wasn’t always that way, butterfly!
Something or a collective of things happened to you in your life journey that caused you to look at people and conversation as something to avoid. An overwhelming fear took over you.
The immediate gratification of avoiding people and conversation conflicts with the emptiness it renders over time coupled with the friction toward your big dreams.
There has to be a happy medium for you.
You need an effective way to repair your broken relationship with communication – itself.
Here are 3 tips: Continue reading