How to Still Slay the Day, Despite Shyness

Many people struggle with shyness, but once you learn it isn’t a weakness you may come to cherish your shyness. Shyness is just another personality trait. However, as with any trait, there are drawbacks as well as perks to it.

It’s important to remember that being shy isn’t some kind of disorder or thing you should be ashamed of. Yet still, it can be an issue for many. There are simple things you can do if you struggle with shyness in order to slay the day.

There are shy celebrities, moms, entrepreneurs, students, and everything in between. It is possible to overcome shyness if it is an obstacle in your day-to-day life. Shyness doesn’t have to be debilitating–it is different from social anxiety and introversion.

Potential Hardships of Being Shy

First things first, let’s talk about some potential drawbacks that may come with shyness. Being shy myself, people don’t always believe me when I say I am an extrovert (well, a shy extrovert). People don’t exhaust me; in fact, I rather like being around people and socializing. However, the shyness is there still as I am not overly expressive.

This is one drawback to shyness I have personally experienced: a decreased ability to express myself. Well, in reality, I could express myself just as much as anyone else, but being shy does make it a little harder to do so at times. (Something us shy individuals know all too well.) It took a lot of inner work and time to accept shyness as just part of who I am. Simply doing that enabled me to be more myself without having shame for or frustration toward my shyness.

Another drawback to shyness is the potential negative effects it can have on your childhood/youth. At times, I have felt robbed of experiences because of my shyness. However, I now realize, it was really me allowing the shyness to consume me and not making an effort to overcome that obstacle.

In addition, people who aren’t shy sometimes can misunderstand shy people. Shy individuals can appear unfriendly or unapproachable even, but this is hardly the case. If you’re shy it may simply take longer for you to warm up to new things– situations and people alike. In fact, shy people are some of the most caring people out there. So, the extra time it may take to get to know them is often worth it.

Okay, enough with all the negativity. So, if shyness is an obstacle for you, what can you do to overcome it? Lots of things!

How to Overcome

According to *Nemours, “when people are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, how they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations.”

They say that approaching new things little by little can help shy individuals become more confident and comfortable. Don’t feel pressure to rush into something, that isn’t always a natural inclination if you’re shy so it can bring about feelings of unease or discomfort. It’s perfectly fine to go at your own pace.

**Psychology Today discusses four ways you can break the cycle of shyness: plan for it to go well, be curious about others, give yourself a role, and soften your inner dialogue.

If you expect things to go well, your sense of fear won’t be so large. Being curious about others helps you focus on something other than yourself and come up with conversation points. Giving yourself a role will give you guidelines on how you should behave. Ever heard the phrase “we are our own worst critics?” It’s sad, but true for a lot of us. Psychology today explains that when we criticize or judge ourselves harshly, we assume others will as well. Work on training your inner voice from putting you down to building you up.

One of the most effective ways to stop shyness from holding you back is to recognize the benefits that can come with shyness. Shy people are known to be great listeners for a reason, and their sensitive nature allows them to be caring individuals. And these are just a couple gifts that can stem from being shy!

Though remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice like most things. Don’t give up and you’ll get there. Nemours claims practicing social skills such as assertiveness, conversation, and friendly body language can help people overcome shyness, build confidence, and get more enjoyment from everyday experiences. You got to fake it till you make it sometimes. And while it’s possible to overcome obstacles on your own, receiving help from therapists and counselors is also a respectable option.

Don’t Give Up and Be You

Change makes anyone feel uncomfortable– you’re leaving your comfort zone after all– but this is often where the most growth occurs. A little discomfort and awkwardness is expected but worth it. You aren’t alone, many people are able to manage their shyness. Being shy doesn’t have to get in the way of doing the things you enjoy doing. Be proud of who you are; wanting to change our true inner nature will only cause us harm in the end. Learn to accept your shyness, value it, take what is good from it, and use it to slay the day.

*https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/shyness.html#:~:text=Extreme%20shyness%20can%20make%20it,opportunities%20or%20trying%20new%20things.

**https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201612/4-ways-overcome-shyness