painfully shy

Start where you are by using your shyness

So, you’re painfully shy.

Ok.

Going from painfully shy TO feeling pretty good in social settings ISN’T an overnight process.

So, what do you do TODAY?

Here is a list of how to maximize your current situation while you keep your eye on your prize of becoming a person full of moxie!

  1. FIRST AND FOREMOST: YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE PART OF THE BEAUTIFUL WORLD – MEANING, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, TOO!
  2. ORGANIZE YOUR DIGITAL STUFF, YOUR HARD COPIES + YOUR PERSONAL SPACE
  3. SELF-CARE
    • When your peeps on your favorite social media sites are posting amazing photos of all the places they’re at and the cool people they’re hanging out with, don’t feel jealous. DO THIS INSTEAD:
      • Be happy for them
      • Be happy for your future self
      • And pamper yourself from head to toe
        • Deep condition your hair and maybe indulge in a hot oil treatment
        • Take a relaxing bath or soak your feet
        • Paint your nails
        • Just love on yourself however you want to!
        • Don’t waste those precious alone moments on toxic thoughts.  INSTEAD: leverage those moments to make you whole!
  4. CREATE A MUSIC PLAYLIST
    • Play music and pay attention to the songs that really uplift you in ways unimagined and make a playlist with those songs ONLY!
    • There are so many music apps you can use or simply create a playlist on YouTube
  5. WATCH MOVIES THAT FILL YOU
    • Take this time to revisit movies that were life changing for you
    • Watch movies that are meaningful to you
  6. LISTEN TO PODCASTS THAT FILL YOU
    • Find podcasts you think you’ll enjoy and start listening to them while you clean, or while you style your hair.
    • “Fill your cup!”
  7. READ BOOK THAT FILL YOU
    • Brew some tea or your favorite cozy drink and snuggle up or luxuriate with a book in hand (or an audiobook)
  8. GO FOR A SHORT WALK

Those are a few tips on how to work with what you’ve got RIGHT NOW rather than feeling bad about being painfully shy.  USE THIS MOMENT AS A GIFT.

The very thing you are avoiding is going to peel away shyness!

Conversation can feel icky when you’re painfully shy – but it wasn’t always that way, butterfly!

Something or a collective of things happened to you in your life journey that caused you to look at people and conversation as something to avoid. An overwhelming fear took over you.

The immediate gratification of avoiding people and conversation conflicts with the emptiness it renders over time coupled with the friction toward your big dreams.

There has to be a happy medium for you.

You need an effective way to repair your broken relationship with communication – itself.

Here are 3 tips:

  • Don’t worry about being interesting.
    • Just be
    • Throw out that notion and take that pressure off – give it back to whoever gave it to you in the first place!
    • You are not a sideshow
    • You are not here to entertain
  • Be Interested
    • Be interested in others
    • I know you already are but the preoccupation and overwhelming anxiety is putting up a barrier and you are not able to FLOW – mentally and conversationally, as a result
    • You’re a good listener BUT your own thoughts are NOISY and DISTRACTING you from HEARING what others are saying
  • Get organized
    • Update and Uplevel your TO DO LIST life
    • This will free the muddle of thought chaos that is drowning out your ability to focus in conversation
    • I use Evernote. (<<< that’s my referral link)

The 7 – Week Virtual Communication Bloom Course for Shies is perfect for you if you want to go beyond tips and delve into an experience that will equip you for expected AND unexpected conversation and MORE! Go to http://wallflowerbloom.com/communicationbloom

 

Find that “thing” within you that keeps you reaching higher

I have a bachelor’s degree with a concentration in communications. I went through a lot of hurdles to obtain my degree and it is one of my greatest accomplishments. My first stint at college was unsuccessful as a result of my social anxiety. I had the smarts but I found it extremely frightening to ATTEND class, and when I did attend I was not able to participate and could barely breathe. I managed to barely make it through the first year, then in the following year, things increasingly became unbearable.  Continue reading “Find that “thing” within you that keeps you reaching higher” »

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The terms social anxiety, shy, and introvert are often used interchangeably.  This is my way of differentiating them.

  • Social Anxiety = A stronger form of shyness.  A debilitating, crippling fear of social situations that creates avoidance. It is a disorder that a licensed mental health professional is trained to treat.
  • Shyness = a fear of social situations that is not strong enough to interfere with day to day activities such as work, school, family life, etc; however can cause a person to feel uncomfortable in social settings. Can be an obstacle in some areas.
  • Introvert = a person who prefers quiet and alone time.  Social settings can be enjoyable when an introvert has had time to recharge via alone time; however, social settings drain energy.  Introverts are just as awesome as extroverts and ambiverts. (Susan Cain’s New York Times bestseller, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” is a popular source of information about introverts.)

All of the above look different on everyone.  Also, a person can be an extrovert, ambivert, or introvert, yet experience shyness or social anxiety.

What do you think?  How do you define these terms?

I want to help you peel away shyness.  Social anxiety is more of a job for a therapist, HOWEVER someone with social anxiety can get great value from coaching and the courses offered here.  Introverts are fine the way they are; however introverts may not realize their power and potential and know how to leverage. All are welcome here!

My goal is to get you to exude your core personality without feeling uncomfortable while leveraging all the deliciousness of your sweet spot to achieve goals and make your daydreams come to fruition!

12If you are a driven entrepreneur, intrepreneur, professional, or student and your shyness is getting in the way of success, check out the services and products available here and stay tuned for more meaningful content! Sign up for the newsletter, as well.

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WORK WITH ME IN VARIOUS WAYS!
http://wallflowercoach.com/work-with-me/


Oh! Please, don’t forget to read the disclaimer page. I’m not a doctor or therapist and this is certainly not a substitute for therapy or any advice from your doctor. No such thing as a Magic Pill!

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