social anxiety

Fear of “You can’t sit with us” and the empty table

If you’re an introvert, you are probably a table ranker.  When you walk into a room, you immediately rank the tables in the order that you prefer to be seated.  The system is simple enough with one being your preferred seating and five being the please don’t seat me there section.  Let’s take a look at a sample table ranking system for introverts.  
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Social anxiety and politics

We’re in an election year and this has me thinking about you!

Some people say votes don’t count. Others say votes do count and our ancestors died for our right to vote.

Something about a vote is very powerful – whether politically or outside of the realm of politics.

A vote is synonymous with your voice.  It is a statement – in and of itself. And too often, you don’t share your voice and thus the entire idea of voting can possibly create anxiety OR create relief! And that is why I want to hear from you. What is your experience?

Politics is one of those things that when brought up in conversation – can go very wrong and create heightened tension as emotions bubble to the surface. (IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY AND MANY TIMES IT ISN’T THAT WAY. MANY TIMES IT CREATES COMPELLING CONVERSATION)

That very possibility of a heated argument blowing up is THE VERY THING that keeps those with social anxiety and shyness fearful of conversation and social interaction. That fear of the worse case scenario.

I’m a firm believer that hot topics like religion, race, and politics are important but it’s all about how the parties in the conversation approach the topic.  

  • What is the intention?
  • Are they LISTENING?
  • Are they speaking from a place of love instead of fear?

What if one person seems to be trying to start an argument and then others follow their lead?

How do you compose yourself so that you’re not negatively impacted to the point where you take the low road or you freeze or you “run away”?

SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW OR EMAIL ME!

I’m interested in learning about your experience around social anxiety and voting and social anxiety and the political discourse.

Has your anxieties every kept you out of the voting booth? Do you go mute in political conversations?

I’m also interested in knowing if you anxieties have done the opposite and propelled you to vote as it was a quiet way of making a loud noise?

Share anything about your experience and what your challenges are.

Whether you choose to vote (I’ll be voting) or not, make sure you vote for yourself by showing up for yourself every day!

Start where you are by using your shyness

So, you’re painfully shy.

Ok.

Going from painfully shy TO feeling pretty good in social settings ISN’T an overnight process.

So, what do you do TODAY?

Here is a list of how to maximize your current situation while you keep your eye on your prize of becoming a person full of moxie!

  1. FIRST AND FOREMOST: YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE PART OF THE BEAUTIFUL WORLD – MEANING, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, TOO!
  2. ORGANIZE YOUR DIGITAL STUFF, YOUR HARD COPIES + YOUR PERSONAL SPACE
  3. SELF-CARE
    • When your peeps on your favorite social media sites are posting amazing photos of all the places they’re at and the cool people they’re hanging out with, don’t feel jealous. DO THIS INSTEAD:
      • Be happy for them
      • Be happy for your future self
      • And pamper yourself from head to toe
        • Deep condition your hair and maybe indulge in a hot oil treatment
        • Take a relaxing bath or soak your feet
        • Paint your nails
        • Just love on yourself however you want to!
        • Don’t waste those precious alone moments on toxic thoughts.  INSTEAD: leverage those moments to make you whole!
  4. CREATE A MUSIC PLAYLIST
    • Play music and pay attention to the songs that really uplift you in ways unimagined and make a playlist with those songs ONLY!
    • There are so many music apps you can use or simply create a playlist on YouTube
  5. WATCH MOVIES THAT FILL YOU
    • Take this time to revisit movies that were life changing for you
    • Watch movies that are meaningful to you
  6. LISTEN TO PODCASTS THAT FILL YOU
    • Find podcasts you think you’ll enjoy and start listening to them while you clean, or while you style your hair.
    • “Fill your cup!”
  7. READ BOOK THAT FILL YOU
    • Brew some tea or your favorite cozy drink and snuggle up or luxuriate with a book in hand (or an audiobook)
  8. GO FOR A SHORT WALK

Those are a few tips on how to work with what you’ve got RIGHT NOW rather than feeling bad about being painfully shy.  USE THIS MOMENT AS A GIFT.

Britney Spears and shyness

The people you would probably not consider to be shy are celebrities. Based on the kind of work they do, many wouldn’t expect these personalities to deal with shyness or, even, social anxiety. It’s difficult to imagine a person who is always in the spotlight could be uncomfortable talking with strangers or being the center of attention. These celebrities may be outgoing and bubbly on the outside, as their careers require them to be so, but many tend to feel more comfortable away from the limelight. Continue reading

Social Anxiety and Thanksgiving (or Christmas, or any other holiday)

When I look back at the many years that I dealt with social anxiety during the holidays (specifically, Thanksgiving) and how I dreaded the inevitable pressure to eat at the table with everyone else, I can actually say thank you to my old self.  Yes it was hard but look how far we’ve come.  Yes, it felt like I couldn’t do it but I made it through, year after year.  I used the discomfort as my motivator.  I would say, I have to work on this because I can’t live like this for the rest of my life.  It gets better.

(I feel like I repeat this often, but social anxiety is different from shyness.  I’ve dealt with both.  I am not 100% over my anxieties because a certain level of anxiety is simply just being human, but social anxiety is no longer a crippling factor for me. So I digress…) It gets better. Continue reading

Differences: introvert, shy, social anxiety, empath, HSP

Most of us have had times in our lives where we’ve felt shy or uncomfortable meeting other people, especially if it is in a large crowd. But, sometimes, the problem is more than being shy and sometimes it is not shyness, and sometimes it is not a problem – per se. Either way, you should understand that there are lots of other people who understand how you feel. Continue reading

Find that “thing” within you that keeps you reaching higher

I have a bachelor’s degree with a concentration in communications. I went through a lot of hurdles to obtain my degree and it is one of my greatest accomplishments. My first stint at college was unsuccessful as a result of my social anxiety. I had the smarts but I found it extremely frightening to ATTEND class, and when I did attend I was not able to participate and could barely breathe. I managed to barely make it through the first year, then in the following year, things increasingly became unbearable.  Continue reading

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The terms social anxiety, shy, and introvert are often used interchangeably.  This is my way of differentiating them.

  • Social Anxiety = A stronger form of shyness.  A debilitating, crippling fear of social situations that creates avoidance. It is a disorder that a licensed mental health professional is trained to treat.
  • Shyness = a fear of social situations that is not strong enough to interfere with day to day activities such as work, school, family life, etc; however can cause a person to feel uncomfortable in social settings. Can be an obstacle in some areas.
  • Introvert = a person who prefers quiet and alone time.  Social settings can be enjoyable when an introvert has had time to recharge via alone time; however, social settings drain energy.  Introverts are just as awesome as extroverts and ambiverts. (Susan Cain’s New York Times bestseller, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” is a popular source of information about introverts.)

All of the above look different on everyone.  Also, a person can be an extrovert, ambivert, or introvert, yet experience shyness or social anxiety.

What do you think?  How do you define these terms?

I want to help you peel away shyness.  Social anxiety is more of a job for a therapist, HOWEVER someone with social anxiety can get great value from coaching and the courses offered here.  Introverts are fine the way they are; however introverts may not realize their power and potential and know how to leverage. All are welcome here!

My goal is to get you to exude your core personality without feeling uncomfortable while leveraging all the deliciousness of your sweet spot to achieve goals and make your daydreams come to fruition!

12If you are a driven entrepreneur, intrepreneur, professional, or student and your shyness is getting in the way of success, check out the services and products available here and stay tuned for more meaningful content! Sign up for the newsletter, as well.

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Oh! Please, don’t forget to read the disclaimer page. I’m not a doctor or therapist and this is certainly not a substitute for therapy or any advice from your doctor. No such thing as a Magic Pill!